Rites for Boys @ The Men’s Lodge

What makes a man?
What makes a good man, or at least one who can…

Express himself and have emotional literacy
Contribute to society,
Live a fulfilling life
Enjoy positive relationships
Care about his fellow humans and
Show respect to and Enjoy the respect of his community?

How can we help young men and boys find their way through the plethora of messages and influences on their vision of what it is to be a man?

With the rise of figures such as Andrew Tate, Trump, Musk, and the messages of machismo & toxic masculinity, these questions have become ever more urgent, to help boys to understand a model of masculinity that is positive, caring, responsible and wholesome.

Rites for Boys @ The Men’s Lodge (with Jonathan Brown) offers families support in tackling these issues.

What is Rites for Boys @ The Men’s Lodge?

Rites for Boys @ The Men’s Lodge is a non-judgemental space where boys and young men can safely explore their emerging manhood, in a format that is fun, interactive, creative, and that honours both their own growth, and the need to clarify and examine developing values.

Rites for Boys @ The Men’s Lodge offers a collection of experiences to boys and young men, enabling them to…

Play… with their own story of being a boy and a man.

Create… clear narratives of what a man is.

Talk… about their own journeys.

We look at these KEY ZONES of exploration…

1. Check… the Respect… learning about respect versus fear
   
2. Explore… The “Rules” of being a Man: What unspoken codes am I taking in, are they  right for me?
3. Unpick… Objectification – how do I see others? How do I see myself?
   
4. Ask… Am I safe to be around?
5. Understand... Consent: Hearing No, Speaking No
6. Wonder… what do I need to control, what can I let go of?
   
7. Decide… Am I Safe? Risk taking behaviour, Peer Pressure, Machismo
8. Explore…who do I want to become?
9. Learn… Reaching Out – asking for help without feeling weak.

How do we deliver?

(i) Activities – We use, above all else, the tool of  narrative.

Boys will…

• Have space to talk, and begin to understand the pressures they face
• Question those pressures and learn to listen to their needs.
• Learn how to set boundaries, ask for what they need, make time for building self-worth.
• Understand the importance of mental health and techniques for how to support their mental health.
• Two strong stories (Iron John & The Laidly Worm) will form the backbone of our storytelling.
• Tell their own stories, learn to listen and be listened to.
• Use simple and easy drama techniques and exercises to explore notions.
• Read or listen to tales from the world of men, and then reflect and respond through their own
• Play with scenarios to see how they might deal with situations.
• Make crafts / self-care products
• Use Forum Theatre (Theatre of the Oppressed) Techniques to explore choices.
• There’ll be times for snacks and chats and laughs.
• We will have at least one walk over local hills.
• We will culminate in a simple celebration of their journey.
• We may watch occasional relevant and appropriate film clips and then respond.
• and many more techniques and tools.

(ii) Resources – Worksheets, and Access to free resources and extension activities to deepen the work done.
Tips, links to news items, video clips, articles, Stories, films.

Themes will include:

• Self image / body image
• Changing from boy to man
• Relationships and relating
• Emotions
• Fears and anxieties
• Role Models,
• Pressures and influences
• Staying healthy
• Roles we play
• Bullying
• Team building

Outcomes.

We want the boys that we’ve work with to come away changed and starting to…

• feel better about being a young man.
• have more tools for expressing with authenticity.
• know it’s ok to be vulnerable and caring.
• question views of stereotypical male roles that no longer serve society.
• have new ways to talk about male identity.
• find the confidence to stand up to/call out toxic viewpoints.
• understand the difference between respect and fear.
• recognise objectification.
• work out how to give and receive consent.
• identify how to help others to feel safe, and to keep themselves safe…. amongst many other outcomes.

 

Who?

Jonathan Brown is Artistic Director of Something Underground.

Jonathan is a trained teacher, former Head of Physics, mediator, and currently group facilitator, holder of men’s spaces, writer, performer and director.
Amongst other experience, Jonathan is trained in facilitation group work, mediation, in Augusto Boal’s Theatre of the Oppressed (Forum Theatre) techniques, the Fool, the Clown, dance, puppetry, theatre. He has held outreach workshops for boys at risk in a professional theatrical setting, is adept at creating innovative programmes, has worked in a wide variety of school and work place settings, including a National Helpline, PRU’s, prisons, with excluded boys, boys in care, boys who are missing school through mental illness. He is the long-term holder of the men’s space at the annual Buddhafield Family Retreat and is a multi-award-winning writer and performer.
He has spent time with/worked with/been in conversation with/learned from Robert Bly, Martine Prechtel, Jonathan Kay, Gary Zukav, M. Scott Peck, Steve Biddulph and many others. He has spent time at various Men’s Conferences in the USA, Australia and the UK, and has danced and performed in the USA, Germany and across the UK. Jonathan has been on retreats on ancient Native American land, aboriginal land, and within the UK.
He’s been a member of various men’s groups since 1997, in Brighton, Bristol & Lewes, and his current mens group has been running for around 6 years.
Jonathan’s last two plays have looked carefully at gang culture, radicalisation, boys at risk, and grooming. The latter of which is a Bruntwood Prize Longlister. Jonathan has two children and has been a home educator for 16 years. He has a cat called Lisa.

Jonathan has current enhanced DBS disclosure and will send you a link to this before commencement of the programme.

Jonathan has been partnering / co-leading with other men’s work/theatrical practitioners such as BandofBrothers facilitator Mark Nightingale

 

Rites for Boys @ The Men’s Lodge is a weekly practice.

When: We meet for 3 hours 10am – 1pm every Sunday morning (term times) usually for 12 weekends (this can change depending on term shapes).

Commitment: We ask for at least one term’s commitment to help build safety and a sense of belonging and togetherness. This is not a drop-in.

Group Size: We limit the group to 12 participants to build intimacy. 

Age: The Group is aimed at 10-12 yr olds.

What is discussed in the The Group is confidential.

Where: We meet in Lewes.

We invite one parent/adult a week to join us. We ask that this be a male parent, adult brother, uncle, relative, friend of the family.

We invite male parents or any parent to also participate (at home) via occasional activity suggestions that we send home to you.

Cost: The sessions are £25 per 3 hour session. We ask for a term’s commitment, but we offer a payment plan in two equal installments. We suggest the boys do some work to earn money to contribute even a small amount to the costs of the course. This gives them ownership, agency, a sense of pride and responsibility.
We will have a limited number of concessionary places. Please get in touch to discuss.

What to do next? If you are interested  in Rites for Boys @ The Men’s Lodge for your son/child, please get in touch so we can discuss your needs and how we can meet them. If you have any questions, get in touch with those too. We will meet in person for a free exploration as to whether this is right for them.

We’ll start this the next set of (9) sessions on Sunday 2 Feb 2025 @ 10am, Lewes.